Friday, February 13, 2009

TRAVESTY! CATCH-22 FOR ELDERS IN GEORGIA

Do Elders in Georgia have any Civil Rights?
Ever since I found out that my father has had all of his civil rights taken away by a greedy daughter (his so-called 'guardian'), I've discovered he has very little if anything to say about where he lives and what he wants - FOR THE REMAINDER OF HIS LIFE!

A little background - my father's second wife of almost 50 years passed away in December of 2007. In January of 2008 his first wife of almost 20 years also passed away. As anyone who has a heart and mind can imagine, this would be the very worst time to "assess" someone's mental condition, but that's exactly what his youngest daughter did. She had him psychologically evaulated and naturally he was labeled "incompetent", as his entire world and everything that meant anything to him had just collapsed around him.

It took him about 5 months to "come out" of his shock and depression over the deaths's of his wives, it was then, after he woke up to his surroundings, that he contacted me, his eldest daughter. He understood he was living in a home and that my sister was his 'guardian' but he questioned the why's and wherefore's of his guardianship hearing in the first place, as well he should. Why had my sister not taken him into her own home and care for him - it's what I would have done? Why? Because she never intended on "caring" for him at all, only for his money, which I'm certain she has stashed away tighter than Fort Knox under a security alert. Anyway, he stated to me, and still states every time I speak with him that he wants a reassessment of his guardianship - he wants a new and FAIR hearing.

He tells me he's not unhappy with the home or the people themselves at the home who care for him, but more the restrictions that began to show themselves on a daily bases as soon as he made contact with me again, such as: his mail, his money, his personal possessions, were all disappearing. His telephone conversations were being overheard (he had no privacy), and his visitors were being restricted.

I tried mailing him several letters, packages, gifts, etc., all of which were either "lost", confiscated or returned to me marked "rejected". He has no say in the matter of what mail he may receive and whom he may speak to. Suddenly all my phone calls to him were unanswered. The telephone messages I left were ignored and probably erased. He is never advised of my telephone calls and messages I leave for him.

At one point I had to phone the Snellville Police department and ask them to go over and check to see if my father was doing all right, as he'd phoned me several times and left messages on my home phone, asking me to call him IMMEDIATELY, and he sounded upset. I could not reach him, therefore my calls to the police. The police responded very quickly, and did go to the home and phoned me back saying he was fine. But as I did not actually get to speak with my father I asked if they would please return and have him phone me so I could be assured he was all right. They did do this for me and my father and I am very grateful for their assistance. I spoke with my dad and he assured me he was all right. It was my calls to the police which told the people at the 'home' that I was serious about staying in touch with my father. That I should have to go to that extent to talk with my own father is ludicrous!

During one phone call he asked me to have him put in protective custody, as he feared what his so-called 'guardian' might do to him. I explained to him that I'd already phoned the Snellville police and asked them to please keep an eye on him and they assured me they would. But I didn't tell my dad that the police simply explained away his fears as "irrational and hysterical" and that he was probably "imagining" everything, "as most elderly people with dementia will do".

My father phoned me about a week later saying his 'guardian' had "threatened" him, saying she was going to put him into a Veterans Hospital on February 27th, 2009 and have him locked up! I asked him why she would do something like that and he said "because she said I'm dangerous". I told him that was a load of horse puckey, I did not believe he was "dangerous" and that I was going to arrange to come to Georgia to see about him as soon as possible to try to see to it that he is NOT moved from his present location.

That very night my father "escaped" from his jail (the personal care home). In the middle of the night, my 85-year old father ran from his "home" to the home of a friend, and I thank God he was not hurt. I did not know he was going to attempt an escape. When the police phoned me and asked me where he might be after his "elopement" I had no idea, and it's true; I was quite stunned that he would do such a thing, but not entirely surprised. When we'd last spoken he was trembling with fear at the thought of being "locked up" in whatever knows to be a virtual hellhole - a VA hospital.

That morning, after speaking with the police, as I sat trying to think where he might be (you must realize we have a 3-hour difference and it was about 4:30 a.m.in the morning in California when I was informed), the phone rang and it was a dear friend of my father's. She'd no idea he would go to her, but due to the goodness of her soul and heart she took him in, gave him some food and a place to rest and then she phoned me. The police had been informed by the care facility that he had escaped and an alert was put out to the media that he was "missing". It was inevitable that he would be found and he was. I spoke with dad again after the police (and my sister, the guardian) were on their way to take him back to his 'home', and I tried to calm him as best I could, asking him to please stay with his friend and go along with what the police felt was best - fighting the inevitable would only make more problems. I promised to come to Georgia soon to see him and to try to help him out of his jam.

I've heard (through unnamed sources) that his "story" was on the news that night (February 5-6th, 2009), as well it should have been, but the real story I'm sure was not told. He ran, as any rational person would, from the threat of being put into a virtual prison. I, for one, do not consider his actions "crazy". The guardian is blaming everyone except herself for his 'escape', especially me. I doubt very much that I will be allowed to see my own father unless I can get my own attorney to assure her attorney that I will not cause any harm. Cause him harm? Me? How mixed up can things get? His guardian, my youngest sister, is the one causing the harm - emotional, psychological and now, physical - and she's getting away with it.

I've been trying every day since we first spoke to find information from every conceivable legal source in Georgia about his legal rights, and all I've come up with is:

It would probably take another civil war to get my father out of Georgia.

He basically HAS NO rights. Oh, he can "petition the court" for a hearing, but in order to do so he needs an attorney and he has NO right to sign a contract so cannot hire an attorney! A "CATCH-22". However, on the other hand, *I*, his eldest daughter may hire an attorney FOR him and we can then petition the court (what's that going to cost? Maybe $2000 - $3000.00?) so he can stand before a judge who will determine whether he's competent to FILE A PETITION! WHAT?! HELLO? Is anybody home in Georgia?

And then if the judge deems him "unable to perform" (look up the word incompetent), we are out 3K. Why should it cost an "incompetent" elder anything to have his case reviewed, I ask you? I say because it's Georgia, although I haven't looked up the laws in any other state, so it may just be the entire State of The Union for all I know! Whatever it is, it's a TRAVESTY.

I am disabled. My husband is unemployed. We cannot afford our rent let alone an attorney. However, I will continue to fight for my father's rights, however slim they may be; I know in his heart that he does not want to be where he is, that he is capable of understanding what is happening around him NOW (as opposed to when they slammed him with the "incompetent" label), and that he should have the right to live wherever he wants and with whomever he wants as a guardian.

He is effectively in jail. It is sad. Please, speak out. YOU someday will be an "elder" too, and I'm sure you wouldn't want these things happening to you. Please post your ideas, thoughts, I welcome your information and suggestions. I thank you, but more importantly, my father thanks you - and I apologize as I've been able to tell only part of the story - the whole story would take me months to write! In fact, it may become my first book.

HELP! Please!